Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Bizzare

I'm feeling, bizzare right now. It's so strange to ride the emotional wave twice without any let down or resolution. Our whole world is on hold. Our ability to plan for the holidays is on hold. Our family as we know it is on hold. Weird I tell ya!

It's just a strange, strange feeling. And a week from today we may very well find out that these months of waiting and wondering still leave us without a "big sister". When, where, who, what will the circumstances be of another potential daughter? Of course, maybe it is her after all, just far later than we were expecting it to be. Maybe next week will leave us once again without an answer.

It's so crazy because I know that I'll be content with whatever the answer is. We believe that God has asked us to come this far, so we can say with confidence that we are doing what God has asked of us, and that we are where he wants us to be. We can't say with confidence that she'll come home with us... because, well, that hasn't been answered yet! But this whole limbo process, honestly, it's hard! I'm emotionally spent once again and I feel like I'm running out of steam in regards to being excited. You can only stay excited and optimistic so long before you start to go stir-crazy!

So, here I am, caught somewhere between trusting God and his will, and his timing, and battling my own emotional state of frustration regarding the unknown. Welcome to my world!

2 comments:

becca said...

Ugh.

The thought crossed my mind when you had a new committee date... what if it's cancelled for some reason? Will the new date be the 25th or the following Tuesday?

aaron.michelle said...

I SOOOO can relate to those feelings!!! Good luck in this waiting period as you seek God and wait on His timing. Some days I just want to peer over the ledge...just for a peak! :) So grateful we have a soveriegn God who has the bigger picture in His capable hands.

Many blessings on you and your family!!! (members known and un-known! :) )