Practical Parenting

I remember the days of 'cooking' with my best friend Angie in early elementary school. We would take all sorts of ingredients from our cupboards and mix them all together and taste them to see if we liked our creation. Every once in a blue-moon we'd make something we could at least choke down, but more often than not the dog wouldn't even go anywhere near our delicious food! (Come on, why not eat pickle-juice, flour, cumin, pepper and eggs? It looked good to us!)

Anyway, now that I'm older and so much wiser I understand how certain things work together to make food that is actually edible. When in doubt, there's this thing I like to call a recipe! Brilliant, I know... why didn't we think of that when we were 6?

My point? A gourmet meal rarely happens on accident, without a plan, the proper utensils and ingredients. It struck me today that good parenting doesn't usually happen on accident either. Funny, isn't it that we can be so meticulous about researching a car before we buy it, and painstakingly put care and attention into maintaining it properly--but more often than not we haphazardly raise our children and hope everything turns out okay?

We research homes and neighborhoods, schools and car seats. We put lots of attention into the perfect vacation and the precise coffee drinks. But, we trust that everything will just work together when it comes to our kids. Hmmm...

I'm theorizing that kid's rarely grow to their full potential without purposeful parenting (maybe you disagree and that's okay... but this is how I feel and well, this is my blog... :0). If this theory is true than doesn't it make sense that we should do things on purpose to grow them the way we believe they ought to be (good citizens, God fearing, honest, intelligent, hard-working etc.) We probably all differ on what we feel is most important for our kids, or what hills are worth dying on. But, whatever those things are it seems like we should parenting with a plan in place and a goal in mind.

SO, HERE'S THE DEAL. I'm going to post some questions over the next couple of days (assuming I get some response from my readers). To see what you think should/could/ought to be done to raise certain types of kids. You can disagree with my premise (say, that we should raise our kid's to be obedient), but make sure you give reasons as to why. I'm looking for some real life people to answer some of my questions about parenting. You may not be a parent yet, or children may have children, but I'd like to hear from anyone who's willing to comment!

Click on the comment button at the bottom of any post to pull up the comment screen and follow the directions. You're comment won't appear right away as I've had to put my comments on moderated status to filter some unwanted comments!

So, practical parenting question #1: Do you think it's important to filter what our kid's watch or listen to? If so, what filters do you put in place and how do you enforce them?

Talk about unfair...

I was checking my blog rounds today and anyone who's been reading my blog for very long knows that theirs a cancer kiddo named Rebekah who's stolen my heart. I met her on Leeann's adoption day because her daddy was our adoption lawyer. We were lucky enough to meet Rebekah when she was well enough to come see her daddy work for the day.

Anyway, she's a cancer SURVIVOR with a tough road ahead... but she's one tough cookie and so is her family. I strongly encourage you to spend some time getting to know her through her blog!

Anyway, I read on her blog today that on her 6th birthday (Saturday) their house burned and has significant fire damage. Yikes, I can't imagine the toll this is taking on their family. I get worn out reading about their trials and tribulations, though I'm always inspired by their positive words and encouragements (like hold your kiddos just a little bit tighter tonight, you never know what tomorrow will bring!).

Anyway, I know that I don't have a huge blog following per se, but I imagine many of you have been following her story through my blog. I would like to encourage you to 'adopt a family' this Christmas. I know this family has medical bills galore and they've received more than the lions share of heart-ache over these last couple of years. Let's be a blessing to them this Christmas!

You can donate via pay pal either to Rebekah's trust http://www.helprebekah.com/ or to their family (they can't use her trust for general family expenses) by going to paypal AT attorney adams DOT com - of course deleting the spaces and using the characters instead of the capitals.

You can watch a touching video at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=StlgiPLr8fU or of course, visiter her blog at http://rebekahspage.blogspot.com/. Please consider making a donation (however big or small) as I know everything helps.

You're prayers are also greatly appreciated. Rebekah had scans last week (to see if she's still cancer free) and they are waiting to get the results this week. Please lift this beautiful little girl up in prayer that she would be cancer free now and forever!

To make it easy to give, I've copied this from http://www.helprebekah.com/id16.html

Contributions can be made by clicking on the PayPal button above, on the front page or HERE. PayPal will allow you to make a contribution using your paypal account OR your credit card if you do not have nor want to have a PayPal account. No signup is necessary - just click and donate!

Contributions can also be made by going into any US Bank and asking to make a deposit to the “Rebekah C. Adams Irrev Trust.” Please be aware that some have reported problems with their local bank finding the account. Please make sure you copy down the name just as shown above.

You may also mail a check made payable to the trust to Scott and Frances or directly to the Trustee: Scott and Frances, Post Office Box 111, Banks, Oregon 97106 or Trustee Molly Mickley, 3305 SE Grant Street, Portland, Oregon 97214.

Look Out World... I'm 2!

My itty bitty baby turned 2 on Sunday! We celebrated by going out to Cold Stone for some ice cream after church and McDonald's, then we came home and attempted to put Leeann and Titus down for a nap. Somehow, a whole lot of ice cream made that difficult. After a while we finally let them out of their room to help us set up the Christmas tree since it was obvious sleep wasn't in their future. We had a great day, though it didn't turn out as originally planned. We were planning and doing a baby dedication and a birthday party for him, but with the storms, rain and snow over the weekend we decided to cancel it since all of our guests (my family) would be travelling a couple of hours in less-than-ideal conditions.

So, my Lightning MacQueen cake pan remains in the cupboard... to be used again another year perhaps? I have more pictures from Sunday, but I'll have to post them later. We're having a small group Christmas party at our house tonight and since I haven't been able to talk my husband into hiring a maid yet... I guess preparing the house my job!

This is Pathetic

Rob and I were invited to a fundraising masquerade event just before Halloween. After much thought and a little inspiration from our favorite place... we decided to go as Starbucks baristas. I know--it's pathetic! A guy from Starbucks let us borrow his aprons and we dressed in black and khaki! We had a blast and got quite a few laughs about our attire.

Fun in a Fort

This is another set of pictures I've been meaning to post. We took every blanket out of our linen cupboard and built a fort in the living room utilizing all of our couches and chairs and even the dining room table. It was lots of fun... for both us and the kids!

A Little Late...

Here are some pictures from the Pumpkin Patch mid-October. We went with Leeann's preschool and for some reason I even remember writing a post about this... but it's not on my blog so it must have just been in my head? Anyway, I just wanted to post these pictures since they're cute and since this is kind of my 'parenting journal' ... and so you my faithful readers don't miss out on our family fun!

Ode to Ice Cream

I have a serious addiction to ice cream. It's amazing how, regardless of the stress or worry of any given day... ice cream can take it all away in an instant! Yummy! Someday I might need to get professional help to break the cycle. As for today, I just finished my bowl (and consequently the carton). This means that tomorrow I'll have to go to the store for some more! Tis the season for peppermint candy ice cream too. Few things in life are more wonderful than peppermint candy ice cream!

In other news, we spent a wonderful Thanksgiving weekend in St. Helens visiting my family, and this week we are running ahead full-force with our crazy lives!

Leeann and Titus have discovered the art of jealousy and sibling rivalry. They still play together well, and give each other hugs and kisses regularly, they just also figured out that fighting between brothers and sisters is normal. I caught Leeann (my gentle, obedient child) hitting Titus upside the head the other day. Titus has gotten in a fair amount of hot water lately for biting, and they've both been squabbling more over toys and such. As for me, CALGON, TAKE ME AWAY!

Titus turns 2 on Sunday. Where, oh where did time go. How does life go by so fast? I still feel like I should be 16. How did I end up married with 2 kids a mortgage and a mini-van? The good news is that I'm finding that the older I get the more fun life is!

How the Grinch Stole Christmas

Leeann and I are in a really fun play at our church called, "How the Grinch Stole Christmas." We're inviting anyone who reads this blog and would like to see us in action (we are who-people) to come see the play.

Tickets are free, but seating is limited. So, please reserve your tickets by calling the church office at 926-5291.

Dates are:

December 6th at 7 pm
December 7th at 7 pm

December 8th at 4 pm and 7 pm

December 9th at 9 am, 11 am and 3 pm

We hope to see you there!

Isn't it ironic?

Have you ever yelled at your kids to be patient? Think about the irony :0) Oh, the wonders of parenting...

3 Years Ago...

I'm headed off to church in a few short minutes but I'm fondly remembering our Thanksgiving Service 3 years ago. During most of our service on Thanksgiving people share about what they are thankful to God for, and how He's blessed them in the past year.

Well, 3 years ago after the Thanksgiving service I became a mom. It seems so surreal looking back on it, but we made the announcement that we would be adopting Leeann and we took her home from church that day. I love being a mommy and Leeann has been such a huge blessing. She's taught me so much and she's such a special little girl. I'm thankful that God has brought her into our lives in such an amazing way. I'm also incredibly thankful for Kyndall's trusting in us and for her sacrifice and sharing this beautiful little blessing!

I only have 13 (or 14? I'm bad at math) more Thanksgivings with Leeann before I send her off to college. I'm sure I have at least 23 until she does Thanksgiving with her own family though :0) I am blessed!

Uh, yeah... he can do that...

So, here's a little excerpt from my Baby Center on-line parenting magazine. It sends my updates each week telling me what to expect and to give me timely advice for my son. Today I got, your "23 month old, week 3."

"19 to 24 months-Your child now understands as many as 200 words, though he'll probably use only 50 to 75 of them regularly. Many of these words will be nouns that designate objects in his daily life, such as "spoon" and "car." Between 18 and 20 months, his pace will pick up as he acquires ten or more new words each day. If he's especially focused on learning to talk, he can add a new word to his vocabulary every 90 minutes — so watch your language!

During this phase your child may begin stringing two words together, making basic sentences such as "Carry me." Since his grammar skills are still undeveloped, you'll often hear odd constructions such as "Me go." He's understood for some time that he needs language, and he'll attempt to name new objects as he observes the world around him. He may overextend the words he already knows, though, so that all new animals are called "dogs," for example.

Starting around his second birthday, your child will begin using three-word sentences and singing simple tunes. As his sense of self matures, he'll use "me" to refer to himself, and he's likely to tell you what he likes and doesn't, what he thinks, and what he feels. You may hear him say, "David want juice" or "Baby throw," for instance. (Pronouns are tricky, so you may catch him avoiding them.)"

So, um... yeah...

Titus is still acquiring words slowly but surely, and everything seems just fine and dandy (and of course, all kids learn at different rates, some start speaking in full sentences, he's got Leeann to speak for him, he's working his motor skills, etc., etc., etc.). Anyway, I understand all of this and that there's nothing to be worried about at this stage but I couldn't help but laugh when I read that article. 10 new words a day eh? How about 10 total words? Okay, really he probably has more like 20 now depending on how you count a word (when the can repeat it, when it sounds like a real word, when mommy understands it, when he uses it on his own for the correct object?) We were told to count it as the last one, regardless of how he pronounces the word. Progress. That's all that matters right?

Anyway, fun times had by all in the Buhl household. There's not much else to say today. Boy, is my life getting boring? I'm okay with that!

A Weekend to Remember

I could write a post that would take you 3 days to read... but I'll try to restrain myself!

Rob and I spent this last weekend at the Hilton (a very nice hotel!) in Vancouver, WA where got the awesome opportunity to attend an event called, "A Weekend to Remember". This an AMAZING marriage conference that is and has been such a blessing in our marriage! We got to go to one about a year and a half ago and we got to go again last weekend. We will try to go as often as possible... that's how good it is. It is here that I shall insert a special thank you to Ben and Brendel for taking care of our kiddos and to Dean and Deborah for joining in on that effort, we are so blessed by your graciousness!

Anyway, I don't even know what to write because we learned SO MUCH. I guess I would simply encourage my married readers to make a strong healthy marriage a priority. It's so worth fighting for! Read books (the men's resource table had plenty of them on CD to aid in making this effort easier :0), attend conferences, do studies on marriage. A good marriage doesn't happen naturally--it takes work, effort and diligence. BUT IT'S SO WORTH IT!

Go to http://www.familylife.com/ and find a conference in your area to attend. The investment is priceless! Why have a mediocre marriage when you can have a great marriage? Your husband (or wife) affects every area of your life, and God designed marriage to be a great thing. I can't think of a greater investment you can make.

Rob and I are nearing 6 years of marriage and I'm still learning new things about him and about our relationship every day. I am continually amazed at this institution called marriage. Getting married is incredibly easy to do, but staying married (and being happy doing it) is so much more difficult. There's so much that goes into the make-up of an individual man and individual woman that bringing them together in marriage and expecting things to 'just work' without consistent effort seems silly if you think about it.

Okay, I'm going to stop now. But seriously, consider making some steps toward a healthy and growing marriage. Yay for a beautiful weekend!

Where did these people go?

This picture was taken at my Senior Banquet aboard the Portland Spirit in 2004. Pre-kids... what did we ever do with ourselves?

MIA

Has anyone out there seen these children? They've been missing for some time now. I have kid's who look very similar to these... but I'm missing THESE ones. Anybody?

First two-word sentence!

"Get Down". I was ever-so-gently raising my voice... I mean quietly prompting Titus to get off the kitchen chair yesterday when he looked up at me with his big ole goofy grin and excitedly begun chiming in, "Get Down, Get Down, Get Down." He was so proud of himself and I was proud of him too of course!

Really, it sounded more like eet dnnn or something like that, but he's proudly repeated it again several times today. Silly boy!

A Picture of How God Feels

I got a brief glimpse at how God must feel this evening. Titus woke up from his nap and his was whiny and disoriented. I don't think he knew what his problem was as he was still half asleep when I walked through his bedroom door. He just looked up at me with these sad little eyes and put his hands in the air. I picked him up and rocked with him on the rocking chair as he burrowed his head into my shoulder.

"Ah, this is what God must feel like..." I said to myself. I love being needed. I love it when I'm the only person in the world who can comfort my son whom I love so dearly. I love when he shows my his affection and adoration. I love when he spends time with me and when he wants to be close to me.

Yup, I bet that's how God feels too!

Happy Birthday Rob!

Monday was Rob's Birthday. He took the afternoon off and we headed up to Portland to spend the day at IKEA. It was lots of fun and it turned out to be a great family day. Of course, I'm not complaining about getting to spend the day at IKEA... or with my family!

I just happen to think this is the CUTEST picture in the whole wide world of Titus.
And, here are my two favorite boys!

And my favoritist little girl!
And, here's the Birthday Boy! My best friend. The coolest guy ever. World's greatest husband, and funnest daddy! Happy Birthday Rob!

The After Party

We ended Rob's Birthday evening with doughnuts instead of cake. Cake isn't his favorite and Krispy Kreme is conveniently located on the way home from IKEA. Perfect!

The kiddos not only got the doughnut that they picked out, but they also got the 'hot and warm' free one too. They were just a little bit happy about getting to partake in daddy's birthday doughnuts!

Sugar shock!
Does life get any better than this?
Finger-lickin good!
The Birthday Boy!

Aww

Here's a picture I took of Titus reading in his Sunday School class the other day. I thought it was too cute not to share!

Pictures!

These are the pictures of Leeann sleeping that I said I'd post a while ago. Better late than never?

This is Titus playing a game of hide-and-go-seek!