Thursday, July 31, 2008

I have LMS

LMS? What on earth is LMS? Before you get to scared, fearing for my life... I made it up. It's an acronym for Lazy Mom Syndrome. It's hereditary. Only, I get mine from my dad. Not LMS, but LDS--you get the picture? My brother has it too.

My dad, my brother Jason and I can all sleep through a hurricane. We religiously fall asleep in the middle of movies or loud parties, even if it's on something uncomfortable or in a very uncomfortable position. We all like our sleep!

My grandma used to have to come physically shake my dad out of bed at 5:30 in the morning to get him to get up and ready for work. He was in his 30's. An alarm never worked because they have snooze buttons. We have no problem pushing snooze and going back to sleep. Sometimes calling him would work, though we have no problem having a short phone conversation and then falling back asleep. Nine times out of ten my grandmother would have to physically walk over to our house in the wee hours of the morning to shake my dad out of bed.

I'm not much better! It doesn't matter how many hours of sleep I had... I DON'T WANT TO WAKE UP! There is not a day that goes by that I don't wish I could stay in bed until noon. I religiously run late in the mornings because I think I can pull off just a few more minutes of sleep. I could take a nap for hours everyday and still have no problem getting to sleep at night. My head hits the pillow and I'm out in 3o seconds. Only acid reflux in the late stages of pregnancy and some severe joint pain have ever made it difficult for me to sleep. I virtually sleep walked to Titus room while I nursed him (still mostly asleep), then I would crawl back into bed and not skip a beat. Did I mention that I like to sleep?

There are only two problems that interfere with my love of sleep and they have names: Leeann and Titus. They spring out of bed before 7 in the morning and run around their bedrooms like wild banshees! Even if they stay in their beds they'll laugh and play and scream and yell obscene things at me like, "Mommy, can we get the gate up? Mommy, can we have breakfast? Mommy, can you get up?" Okay, notice the sarcasm surrounding the obscene word. They only sound obscene because I'M STILL ASLEEP! Or at least I'm trying really hard to still be asleep. My favorite is when they then turn their attention toward each other and start fighting over something really important--like a book (we have 40 others in their room).

On most mornings this goes on for about an hour until Rob gets their gate up and they come running into my room like race horses running for a prize. They jump onto my bed and proceed to pounce on me. They seem to find great joy in this, and so does Rob! He kisses me and heads off to work knowing that the kids will find a way to peel me from my pillow. So, on an average day I spend the next 30 minutes trying to fend off the cutest little creatures known to man as they kiss my cheeks, hug me, snuggle with me and pounce on me trying their best to get me up! At some point I must admit defeat and crawl out of bed, no doubt grunting and groaning about how I don't want to get out of bed.

About 20 seconds after I finally do get out of bed I realize it isn't so bad and I wonder why I just spent the last hour and a half trying so hard to get my kids to let me stay in bed!

This happens just about every morning unless I know I have to be somewhere for something. Then I still moan and groan and curse my alarm as I get out of bed.

Do any of you have LMS too? Tell me, at least one of you out there knows a cure?


becca said...

Of course I have LMS. I was this way before kids too but it sure changes things when someone depends on you! My downfall is that I love to stay up late and I don't discipline myself to be the first one out of bed in the morning.

I listened to Elizabeth George speak last year, and she said we moms need to "beat our kids up". She said it that way for the shock value, because as people did a double-take like "wha-wha-what, hurt my kid?" she could explain that's not what she meant. She went on to describe how we absolutely need to be up first to set the tone for the day, have a quiet devotional time while it's still dark, and even to be visibly up for our husband's sake. While I've done a poor job of modeling this in my family, it truly is rewarding to have a quiet alone-time morning before the big rush! I've got to plan ahead for full nights of sleep.

Anonymous said...

LMS cure.....sweet black juice aka coffee. you know who i am, i don't have to sign this....