For anyone who knows me well, they know that I'm not a very emotional person. Sure I cry every-so-often, but probably a quarter as much as the average woman. I don't typically get in cat fights because I don't take things personally very often. Sometimes I wonder if I have an emotional side to me at all because I find it hard to cry or be sad even when I ought to be.
Well, I didn't cry tonight but I sure became teary-eyed. I was up in Titus's room looking around and I suddenly began to imagine what his room would look like in 15 years. The room that looks huge won't look so big with a twin size bed in it. His dresser will probably have the 15 years from now version of Garbage Pail kid stickers and stickers of bands stuck all over it. He'll have posters on the wall and a basket ball hoop behind the door. I won't remember what color his carpet is because it'll be covered in clothes and other smelly stuff. My kids are going to grow up before I know it. I held him in my arms and rocked him in the rocking chair and just stared at him as I prayed for him and talked to him. He just stared back and caressed my face and smiled at me. I found myself praying for his future spouse and that he would be a good daddy and a good husband. Somehow I just got this incredible picture of him in his 20's, out of the house with a family of his own. What a bitter sweet day that will be. I'm going to be 42 when my kids are both off to college. My dad is older than that with two babies at home. I can't imagine life without my kids. I know I have at least 18 years left, but I know those years are going to fly by right before my eyes.
I snuck into Leeann's room after I tucked Titus into bed. I was hoping she was still awake, and she was. I asked her if I could pray for her and she said yes and grabbed my hand. I prayed for her as a mommy and a wife and for her future spouse too. I try to do that with both of them often. I prayed that she would come to know and trust Jesus at a very young age and that she would walk with him and serve him every day of her life. I said "amen" and she said "Thank you mommy!" It was soooo sweet. Just as the tears began to well up she said "Go out, I'm tired." And then I started laughing and I kissed her and tucked her and her baby doll into the covers.
I love my kids. They are so sweet and so special. We have had Leeann more than half of her life now, and Titus is over 5 months old. It seems like just yesterday it was just the two of us. And it will probably feel like tomorrow when they're both in school. Why do they have to grow up? What a great reminder to treasure every moment and every stage. Kids are so special, and mine are the most-specialest ever!