Feeling Better

We ended up having a lovely day yesterday, in celebration of Rob's Birthday... I'll post about it later when I download the pictures.

I'm feeling much better today. Really, what's 3 more weeks in the grand scheme of life anyway? I do look forward to hearing an answer (and I'm hopeful the answer will be favorable to our family), but I trust in God and his timing.

Please continue to be in prayer for us and our family, but most especially for this sweet young lady as she anxiously anticipates finding out what her future holds.

Blah!

That's how I feel today. Blah!

I didn't peel my eyes open until 9:30 this morning. Baby gates and Mary Poppins are beautiful inventions!

When we originally set out on the adoption adventure we were hoping to have her home by the time the new school year started.

Every week since the middle of the summer we've run into a snag of some sort. Our background checks were taking longer than expected, our previous adoption agency had to send in our previous home study before our worker could finish our new one. The new one took longer than expected. We had to wait on some background information which took longer than expected. We wanted to talk to specific individuals in this girls life and past prior to moving forward. Each phone call was pushed out longer than we'd expected. I tried to get in touch with her counselor which took two weeks longer than expected. Finally, we were able to officially ask to move forward only to find out there's another family that wants to move forward too, but that their home study wasn't finished. And of course, to finish that study took longer than they'd expected. So finally, finally we get a committee date. A date on the calendar. The date we finally know! Only to have yesterday's events transpire and to be put off another 3 weeks. I'm exhausted!

I've been trying for months to hold my calendar pretty open not knowing when to expect this ball to get rolling. Now I'm trying to keep it open through the holiday season which is especially difficult. And quite possibly... all for nothing?

Nearly all of my mental energy has been wrapped up in this young lady that honestly, we may never meet. I'm in her room right now, on her computer staring at her bed wondering if any of these things will ever be hers. Isn't that just strange?

I usually handle stress pretty well. I can keep my adrenaline going when I know there's an end in sight. I feel like my adrenaline was anticipating being finished pumping through my body and great speeds months ago... but especially as of yesterday. I don't truly know how adrenaline works but I'm pretty sure it all left my body. Hence, the blah feeling!

All of this selfishly feeling blah and today Rob turns 33! Ask me what I have planned... yeah, pretty much nothing. Maybe you could hop over to his blog and flood his blog with Happy Birthday comments?

Undecided...

I finally got the call and it was quite possibly the worst news I could hear... they didn't make a decision today!

They have some more questions that they want to ask us and the other family, and they want to give the young lady a few more details on each of our families to get a better picture of where she'd like to be placed.

The case worker said this was their longest, most difficult and frustrating committee yet. I could hear it in her voice. Anyway, so we wait. There's a slight possibility (though not likely) that we could get a new committee scheduled for next Tuesday if someone else backs out of their committee time slot. The following Tuesday is Veteran's Day so we probably won't get another committee date until the 18th of November. Yes folks, that is 3 long weeks away!

Please continue praying for this young lady and for wisdom for the placement committee. I imagine it will be hard for her to hear that a family wasn't chosen today since she too has been looking forward to today with great anticipation. As always, I promise to keep you updated.

Still no word...

For those of you waiting, there's still no word. I expected to hear more than an hour ago... but still I wait. I'm being treated by my hubby to Starbucks so we can wait together so you probably won't hear much of anything on here until noon. If anyone is even anxiously waiting and watching my blog that is! Hopefully you'll hear from me soon!

15 Minutes Until Committee!

Okay, seriously, I'm giddy, nervous, excited, scared, freaked out, hopeful, hope-filled... etc., etc., etc.

Within the next hour I shall (likely) know one way or the other. We've been praying for this young lady and her placement for months. We've been preparing our home and our hearts too. We've been thinking, praying, reading, talking to people, listening to advice, gathering information and driving ourselves crazy with hypothetical "What if's?".

Well, today's the day. I will know today how to proceed with my day, my week, my month and the rest of the year. Will it be spent in preparation and transition, with our home projects put into hyper-drive? Will we try to get our houses on the market super soon, or do we have more time to plan and take things slow?

Okay, I'm simply driving myself crazy and there's no reason to do that. God already has a plan and already has the details worked out. So, again, we wait. I'm going to try to busy myself getting ready for my day and by the time my hair is dry and my make-up is on and the kids are fed and dressed I will know if we are to be a family of five. Stay tuned!

POTTY PARTY!

Today we had a potty party in celebration of Titus' first successful potty in the big boy potty! I cannot tell you how ridiculously excited I was. I know, I'm pretty much a big dork!

Seriously, this was a momentous occasion as we've been talking about it for months and months now. I think I said this earlier, but I've been trying to bribe him with ice cream at McDonald's with Weston and Logan for a couple of months now.

Well today I went to put them in the bath and noticed that Titus' diaper was dry and I hadn't changed him in 3 hours, so I was pretty sure he had to pee. I was determined that today would be the day! I confess, I made him sit on the potty chair until he went which was near an hour. But, we did read books and play cars together and kept a generally upbeat attitude about the whole thing.

When he first sat down Leeann went and got him a candy necklace that she'd gotten at a birthday party the day before. She's great at sharing! I gave them each 4 pieces of it and told him that he could have the rest after he went potty.

Part way through it he started negotiations. "I get candy and ice cream at McDonalds?" "Yup!" "And fench fies tooo?" "Sure, if you go potty you can have candy and french fries, and ice cream. In fact, you can have just about anything you want if you go potty in the big boy potty!"

"I want fench fies mommy."

Anyway, finally he told me, "I'm doing it mommy, I'm doing it!" And sure enough... he did it! Of course, more ended up on the potty seat than in the little toilet bowl thingy, but that's quite all right. As I understand it he'll be perfecting his aim for years right? I squealed, and Eroica got to hear the whole thing first hand since she was on the other end of the phone at the time.

So, Titus called Rob to share the good news and he told Titus he would meet us at McDonald's to celebrate. Suzy and the boys came too and we had ourselves a potty party!

The party clan.
You have to enlarge this one to see the terrific mess he made!

A seriously cute kid!

The appetizer!

I personally welcomed the distraction today. It was fun to celebrate with my "big boy"! It's also good to feel one step closer to being a diaper free home. I know, I know, it still won't probably be that for many months but please, don't rain on my parade!

Less Than 24 Hours

We appreciate your prayers for the social workers who will be making the decision of which family to place this young lady with. They should be meeting at 8:30, our time tomorrow morning to make their decision. Most of all, pray that she will be able to make a successful transition into her new family, and pray for her ability to attach to a new family too.

We're anxiously awaiting news, and my mind seems to be spinning more and more and as the day draws closer. I've found myself feeling far more anxious than normal lately... go figure!

We started this process back in May and first saw this girl's profile back in June, so we are excited to finally have an answer. Of course, we are very hopeful that they will choose our family, but ultimately we believe God will place her precisely where he wants her to be. And, tomorrow, we will know!

Just to let you know...

I intend to blog about Tuesday's decision as soon as I'm able too... so stay tuned. I'll try my best to have something posted by noon if at all possible, but I promise to get you the verdict as soon as I can!

In the meantime, we're still trying to operate on "life as normal" mode. Whatever that means!

October in Pictures

Since I've been quite bad about posting updated pictures lately, you get to see my whole month of October in one post! Lucky you!

This is Titus showing that he's in no danger of growing out of his 12-18 month clothes. I was going to post this with my post regarding his clothes, but hey, better late than never right?
Cheap Labor! They had fun singing while 'mopping' my floor, and kept begging to do more. I didn't stand in their ways!
Titus likes to show that he can touch the ceiling by climbing on the bottom of the rail right up where the stairs meet the first floor ceiling. He gets so proud of himself when he does that!
He's also at the stage where he licks EVERYTHING. It's disgusting. He didn't really start putting things in his mouth and licking things until he turned 2 and now he has to put everything in his mouth. It's a seriously gross habit!
Leeann and Titus shared a pear. He got on bite, she got one bite. This went on and on until the pear was gone. I don't think either of them ever let go of the pear to ensure other one didn't sneak extra bites.
This is the only picture I could sneak off of Titus holding Landon before Landon started screaming. I think it probably had something to do with Titus squeezing his neck too tight?

After dinner the other night the kids made pudding. Weston chose red... his favorite color.
Logan shows off his creation.

2 tbsp. of vanilla pudding, 1/4 cup of milk and food coloring just in case your wondering.
Titus chose blue.
Leeann's showing off her purple. It was fun. Messy, but fun!
Titus wanted me to take a picture of Doc's ear... so here ya go. It does illustrate how much he plays with his Cars cars... they're all dented and scratched and most of them have teeth marks too (see earlier description for the explanation of the teeth marks!)

My friend and college roomie, Ruthi came to visit on Saturday. It was fun to spend the day with her as it'd been 2.5 years since we last saw her. Much too long!
This... this is pee. On my bedroom floor.

Right after Titus spent THIRTY minutes on the toilet trying his very hardest to earn his ice cream cone for going potty in the big boy potty. He's almost 3 and has yet to make one successful deposit of any sort despite a great deal of exposure to the potty seat and bribery with various incentives.

He left my sight for 30 seconds while I went to get a diaper. Arg!

This is Titus giving me his sad face because I made him sit back on the toilet while I cleaned up the mess. His frown quickly turned upside down once I showed him pictures of himself!
Today Leeann offered to make dinner for everyone. She made Rob a grilled peanut butter sandwich (I helped with the grilling) and then she made Titus and herself each a jelly sandwich and made me a bowl of cereal. It was soooo cute and I was so proud of her desire to make us dinner. She pretty much did the whole thing herself except the grilling and the milk. She's such an amazing helper!
Titus waiting patiently for dinner. He got to sit on a stool at the counter tonight and he thought that was pretty stinking cool!

I admit... I'm overwhelmed!

I try not to let myself get overwhelmed too often, and I admit when I am overwhelmed even less... but let's be honest... I'm overwhelmed!

I currently feel like my whole world is out of control. I'll find out one week from today whether our lives will forever be changed by an additional child... uh, teenager. I have no control over this! I can't do anything to make us any more likely to become her parents. I simply have to trust that the state of Idaho will make the best decision for her placement and that God will do his will. It's comforting to know that God has a plan for her and for our family... but honestly it's also difficult having no idea what that plan is!

Meanwhile we're still surrounded by unfinished projects in our current home, including a broken toilet in our main bathroom that hasn't been working for about a month now (are any of you plumbers?), a ceiling that needs to be drywalled and textured (uh, we don't exactly know how to do this), a door that needs to be cut to the right size so it can open fully, cabinets that need to be painted, a few walls that still need to be finished (anyone have one of those ladders that you can use to paint stairwells?)... you get the hint? Lot's of stuff, lots of money, little time...

We're also highly considering putting both of our homes on the market in well, a bad market. We know we'll be in need of an additional bedroom here very soon because Leeann and Titus can't share a bedroom forever and we found a house that is everything (well almost) we could want in a great neighborhood at an incredible price (incredible price for the house but still stretching for our budget). In order for us to be able to afford it though God needs to do some huge things. Like, sell both of our houses quickly, by owner, in a bad market for a specific price.

On top of that there are several other crazy thing going on in our world that are all coming together to make me feel like my world is just plain out of control!

So, there you have it: my confession. I'm overwhelmed! Small group got cancelled tonight so Rob and I have plans to sit down and write down all that we need to do so we can start plucking through some of our tasks and make some attempts at feeling like we're making progress in the midst of craziness. Yeah, we'll see if that helps, or adds to my frenzy!

An Old Picture

I just thought I'd post an old picture of Rob and Leeann. This was the week we had her 'on trial' before we learned that we would become her parents. She was just tiny! Rob looks less than thrilled to be getting his picture taken, but these two obviously look snuggly together... that's why this will probably always be one of my favorites!

Are you up for the challenge?

I've been blogging for over 3 years now, and I was wondering how long it would take to read my blog if you started at the beginning and read straight through.

I don't have time to do that, however! I used to go back and read it often but I haven't done that in a long time... something about kids and being really busy and such... anyway, if any of you find yourselves ridiculously bored and want to time yourselves while you read through all my great commentary--let me know how it goes for you!

Date Change

Our committee date will now be held on Tuesday, October 28th... less than two weeks from now. I just thought I'd keep you filled in on the details!

Don't take the ambulance!

We found out today that our 4th of July excursion cost us... well, a lot of money. Did you know that an ambulance ride just a few blocks costs more money than 231 grande double-chocolate chip blended cremes from Starbucks... and they aren't cheap drinks!

Here's the letter we got today:

"Dear Mr. Buhl,

We have now completed our investigation into your claim against the city of Albany.

Our investigation reveals that the slide was in good condition with no defects. It does not appear that your injury was the result of any negligence on the part of the City. Additionally, the City does not carry any no fault medical insurance coverage. We must therefore respectfully deny any claims you may present in this matter.

We trust you will understand that our obligation is to pay only those claims for which our Members are legally responsible."

I was assuming that since we as home owners are responsible for anything that happens on our property that perhaps it would be the same with the city... especially at a place like a water park that has a lot of potential dangers. Well, uh, I was wrong!

So, yeah, I still haven't quite processed that yet. God is soooo good, yet like I've said before anytime we feel like we have breathing room in our pocket book some thing crazy happens, like my husband getting a freak head injury going down a water slide resulting in him being transported via a really expensive ambulance ride. My first car was 1/3 the price of that short ride! Never mind the fact it was an '88 Ford Festiva...

The worst part is before I was going to take him myself but I couldn't find the keys since they were locked in the locker room and my confused husband couldn't remember the combination. Then I started to get a little freaked out and tried to figure out in my head what I would do if I were driving him to the hospital and he started convulsing or tried to take the wheel from me since he was acting quite freaky. Knowing then what I know now... I would have made him walk!

So, yeah, that's where we are. If I hadn't seen God provide in amazing ways so many times before I just might cry over this one. It's the second time we've been hit out of no-where with a nearly $1,000 unexpected medical bill. Since we've lived in this home (April) we've replaced the washer, bought Leeann a bed and purchased a set of bunk beds. We've replaced the tires on the van and had a few other car repairs. So, just as God seems to like to do, any money we've saved from moving into this place has faithfully gone out the back door. Isn't it ironic?

So, the moral of my story is this: If your emergency doesn't appear to be life-threatening, don't take the ambulance. Unless of course you are independently wealthy and enjoy spending your money on luxurious rides across town! And, be careful going down slides at water parks too!

Tuesday, November 4th

That is the official committee date. So while the world will be on the edge of their seats waiting to learn the fate of our country, we will be on the edge of our seats waiting learn the fate of our future restaurant status: Party of Four or Party of Five?

Party of Five

Rob was gone last night so I sat down with a big bowl of ice cream and watched the first 5 episodes of Party of Five thanks to this beautiful thing I call Netflix!

I remember loving the show as a teenager. The first episode said something about 1994 so I must have been 12 or 13 when it started. I also really liked Beverly Hills 90210 and Melrose Place. I watched a lot of t.v. growing up. I didn't realize at the time how smutty the stuff that I was watching was though! Not that Party of Five is smutty per se, but the subject matter is quite intense for a 12 year-old in my opinion. You have to wonder how I survived my teen years with these kinds of shows as my only role-models!

You see, I grew up... unsupervised. I know part of it was because it was just a 'different day' back then. Part of it was because my parents where quite young themselves (I was their 3rd child by the time mom was 20 and dad was 21) and they grew up in the 70's if you catch my drift. They divorced when I was 8 and I mostly lived with my dad and 2 older brothers, though they were both in and out of the house for various reasons that take a whole other blog post to sift through. So, sometimes it was just my dad and me and sometimes one or both of my brothers were around. In my late-teens I lived with my grandparents for a year, then my aunt Pam and uncle Steve... then I went to college and got married.

My dad always worked rotating shift work so there were lots of times that I was home by myself for 12-14 hours at a time, even over night. With those kind of family dynamics there wasn't much in the way of supervising going on to say the least. I did what I wanted, watched what I wanted, ate what I wanted and went anywhere I wanted anytime I wanted without thinking twice and rarely asking for permission. It was just my life... I didn't realize 'normal' people didn't live that way because most of my friends were in a similar boat.

It shocks me now, as a parent though. I used to get myself ready for school and walk more than a mile to a get there by myself... in 1st grade! In Kindergarten I would walk to the corner store which was 6 blocks away on a fairly busy road. My brothers and I would be outside playing for hours and hours and never check in. I thought my friend's parents were super-strict and psycho because she had to be home before the street lights turned on! I forged my dad's signature (with his permission... he even taught me how) on all my school work, and even on his checks to buy pizza on Saturdays if he was at work. Nobody told me to do homework, or even asked me about it. Nobody helped me get ready for school (I'm sure on most days I was that ratty child who's clothes didn't match and hair was never combed and was always late to school). Ah, the good ole' days!

Granted, there were times where life was somewhat 'normal' but there were far more times where I was 'on my own'. I remember one time when I was in high school that I went away on a peer mediation retreat for the weekend, and when I came home my mom's car was in the driveway. She lived 8 hours away and I knew we weren't expecting her so I got freaked out. When I walked in the door I learned that my brother, Greg had been a tree-falling accident and had been crushed by a tree at work. His jaw was wired shut and all of his teeth were shattered and for a while they weren't sure how he was going to pull out of it. Nobody knew where I was, so they couldn't get a hold of me!

I have lots of great childhood stories, but I don't know if I want to blog them. They're always good for a laugh though, so feel free to ask if you're ever interested in a little story-telling time. Just ask about my family tree. It's got some crazy twists and turns!

Just in case you're wondering, I became the super responsible hyper-sensitive one. Though I was encouraged to "get high... and loosen up" I never drank, smoked or did drugs. Instead, I poured myself into school work and extra curricular activities and nominated myself the safety officer, taking keys and sharp objects from intoxicated people. I graduated high school and college both with honors and I was determined more than anything never to be driven by substance abuse. I saw what it did to my immediate and extended families and to my friends and wanted no part of it!

Ultimately, my childhood (crazy as it might have been) has made me who I am. And, honestly, I'm happy with who I am so I'm not sure I would change it if I had the chance. I wouldn't wish my childhood on anyone else, and it was quite painful at times... but it was my cacoon... and I had to spend my time there and fight my way out in order to fly away as a butterfly.

It's soooo strange to me that I ended up marrying the most wonderful, amazing godly man who is an incredibly active and devoted husband and daddy! My life is soooo much different that I ever could have dreamed it would be growing up. The life I'm living is stuff fairy-tales were made of... and I get to live it everyday!

So there you have it, Party of Five took me on a little trip down memory lane. I lived vicariously through characters like those! I don't think I'll keep watching them, one evening's worth of a trip down memory lane is enough for me to remember how grateful I am to be living the life I'm living. I think it's always good to look back and remember where you've been, but I'll certainly live my life looking forward. There's nothing I can do to change the past but I can learn from it, and change my future and that of my children.

Some of the Wedding Pictures

I ended up taking some pictures for Greg and Mia and here are a few of my favorites. I wasn't planning on taking pictures, and I'm still learning the art for sure but it was fun. They didn't have a professional photographer, so a little sister with a camera may not have captured the day as well as other's may have... but it captured some great memories for sure!

This one is my very favorite!
Lounging around at the end of the day.
My sister-in-law Mia!
Me, Greg and Jason.
Honestly, it's still hard to believe Greg has kids... and now a wife!
My big brother's precious family!
You couldn't stage it better!
As soon as Trinity would drop the rose petals, Payton stopped to pick them up. He didn't leave one petal on the ground, it was so cute! Every wedding needs comic relief!

Letting you in on the conversation

For about the last 10 minutes Titus has been having a conversation among his cars as is typical for him. He just talks to himself with one car in each hand pretending to take on their personality. I'll let you in on a piece of the latest conversation!

Dark Green Car: "You want to go to Applebees and have some ice cream?"

John Deere Tractor Car: "And mac-roneeee and cheese too?"

DGC: "Yeah, let's go to Applebees."

JDTC: "I going to play with mommy, daddy."
Titus to me: "We're going to Applebees."

Flitters upstairs to grab fireman truck...

"Hey fireman truck, do you have chicken in there?"

Fireman truck: "I have chicken in there. It's yummy."

Me: "What are the cars doing over there Titus?"

Titus: "Uh, eating dinner. Have macandcheese, um, just the cars are eat-ing. They're having chicken!"

"Hey, John Tractor car, I'm going with daddy!"

"I'm going with daddy FIRST. Watch this!" as he races his cars around the living room floor. I wonder who got there first?

Hmmm... it makes me want to have Applebees for dinner. A little asian chicken wrap and a blondie for dessert... hmmm...

I want breakfast!

I'm not really sure how this morning's events transpired, but I do distinctly remember what I (usually) think of as the cutest little guy in the world who can never do anything annoying because he's so darn cute... climbing into my bed pulling on my eye-lids, tugging on my fingers with all of his might, tugging the covers off of every inch of my body repeatedly proclaiming, "I want breakfast!"

"Mommy, get out of bed, I want breakfast!"

"Can I have Life mommy?"

"I like Life."

"Can I have breakfast?"

"WAKE-UP MOMMY!"

"Mommy, mommy MOMMY, get out of bed, I want breakfast!"

Suddenly I was saddened to realize that the super cute 2 year-old stage won't last forever. Okay, looking back this morning's events were still cute, but they didn't feel cute at the time! It wasn't even 8:00 yet, and I kept trying to assure him that I will get him breakfast after I get out of bed, just like I do every morning. He wasn't taking the bait though. He'd have none of my rationalizing... he just wanted his Life!

What's even worse is about 10 minutes before that Rob tried to yank my covers off of me too in attempts to get me out of bed. I was just about off to la-la land again when Titus came pouncing in! I just wanted to sleep a little bit longer!

Have I ever mentioned that I don't really like to get up in the morning? I could sleep in until 9:30 if my dear sweet children would let me! Oh well, I guess I'll get to sleep in some other time. And, just in case you are wondering, Titus enjoyed his Life cereal very much! Hmm, do you think they'd let me go back to bed?!?!?

Missouri Day 2

I know I'm late on these, but better late than never, right? On the 2nd day in Missouri we went jet-skiing. It was my first time and I had a lot of fun!

This is me and my neice, Trinity. She's a crazy jet-ski driver. She went out with my brother Greg and was doing cookies going full speed! When she went with me I told her there was no way on Earth she was driving!
Greg wanted a picture of him doing a cookie, so about 73 pictures later... I got a good one!
This is my other brother, Jason, posing for the camera!

Two of the main reasons I went to Missouri, Trinity (5) and Payton (2)!

Greg jumping over the kids. Trinity and Payton are little water bugs. They jumped right in and had a blast... with absolutely no fear!


Greg decided to toss Mia in the Lake. It was really cute!

A little family picture on the jet-ski!

He's a live-wire! It was sooo good to meet him and play with him while we were there!

Missouri Pictures... From Day 1

Bret Michaels... lead singer of Poison! Yes, I shook his hand, the closest I've ever come to meeting someone famous I do believe!
Greg and Mia posing in front of his tour bus.
Jason under the arch.
Greg and Mia under the arch.
Me... under the arch... are you sensing a theme?
The arch.
Greg and Mia kissing under the arch. I love this one!

Starbucks in Minnesota!
A sign that says Minnesota to prove I was there!
One of the 173 cloud pictures.
Another one of the 173 cloud pictures!
My brothers and I. Notice that I'm officially the runt of the family. They are both 6'2"... I'm 4'11". This picture was taken at a museum beneath the arch.